Buffy: Mortal wound? Are you okay, that actually sounds seriouser than I thought.
Buffy: We’ll have the vampire relationship talk one day. When the time is right.
Jesse: Gosh, I hope it’s not like THE talk, y’know. Either way it’ll all be the same. Just promise me you won’t give me a wooden stake and say that it’s for ‘protection’ or ‘just in case’. Then pat me on the back. Actually wait… I wouldn’t mind the stake.
Jesse: I am of the good. He stopped using me as his personal big gulp pretty early in. Tis a flesh would.
Buffy: I was thinking more along the lines of the emotional effects of dating a vampire, but if you want to get down to the nitty gritty, far be it for me to deny you. I have more than info on both aspects.
Buffy: Everyone could use a quality stake, their all the rage in L.A. I hear.
Buffy: Okay, as long as your not in need of a hospital visit. Which if you are, you should probably do. You can’t let festering wounds of any sort sit, that’s just common knowledge. No supernatural insights there.

Buffy: Well uninviting is not as easy as inviting, but it can be done. There are definitely strings I can pull to make that happen. But I’m not sure it could happen today. You might want to find another place to stay if you feel like you’re in real danger.
Buffy: I could have a whole separate conversation about the badness that is Twilight. Besides the unhealthy relationship, it totally glamorizes the whole “being in love with a vampire” thing. Which I would like to say does not deserve glamorization.
Jesse: I doubt I’ll see him again soon. He didn’t really like how I tasted. If I wasn’t mortified about the mortal wound gushing from my neck at the time I would have been offended.
Jesse: This is a conversation I need to have with you.
Buffy: Mortal wound? Are you okay, that actually sounds seriouser than I thought.
Buffy: We’ll have the vampire relationship talk one day. When the time is right.

Jesse: That’s a relief. I just um, I dunno. I feel drained. Literally, I guess. What about the wound? Is it going to be all silver and stuff like in Twilight?
Buffy: Well, that is what vampires do. They drain you. And unless you’ve got some sort of supernatural advantage, it can really affect you. But you’ll get better, you just need rest and maybe some iron pills.
Buffy: And no, the wound will not be silver. Please do not get me started on Twilight. There are so many things wrong with that book, it’s almost funny. Almost funny, but more annoying.
Jesse: Right!?! I mean seriously, it’s like a guide book to an unhealthy relationship. It was like reading a lifetime movie with fangs. Please.
Jesse: Okay. Good. This is good. Another question- say I invited him into my house… can I invite him out of it too?
Buffy: Well uninviting is not as easy as inviting, but it can be done. There are definitely strings I can pull to make that happen. But I’m not sure it could happen today. You might want to find another place to stay if you feel like you’re in real danger.
Buffy: I could have a whole separate conversation about the badness that is Twilight. Besides the unhealthy relationship, it totally glamorizes the whole “being in love with a vampire” thing. Which I would like to say does not deserve glamorization.

Jesse: Hey, thanks for being so cool with the texting thing.
Buffy: No problem. You seem like a more than decent person, totally textable.
Buffy: So what’s on your mind to be asking Miss Buffy?
Jesse: I had a question about vampires.
Jesse: What um… what if you were bitten by one?
Buffy: Okay so I’m guessing you were?
Buffy: As long as you didn’t drink deep of the vampire’s blood in return you should remain as human as you were before the event.
Jesse: That’s a relief. I just um, I dunno. I feel drained. Literally, I guess. What about the wound? Is it going to be all silver and stuff like in Twilight?
Buffy: Well, that is what vampires do. They drain you. And unless you’ve got some sort of supernatural advantage, it can really affect you. But you’ll get better, you just need rest and maybe some iron pills.
Buffy: And no, the wound will not be silver. Please do not get me started on Twilight. There are so many things wrong with that book, it’s almost funny. Almost funny, but more annoying.

Jesse: Hey, thanks for being so cool with the texting thing.
Buffy: No problem. You seem like a more than decent person, totally textable.
Buffy: So what’s on your mind to be asking Miss Buffy?
Jesse: I had a question about vampires.
Jesse: What um… what if you were bitten by one?
Buffy: Okay so I’m guessing you were?
Buffy: As long as you didn’t drink deep of the vampire’s blood in return you should remain as human as you were before the event.