phone call @Buffy

Willow: [frowns a little, but nods.] Y-yeah. I’m um, I’m home. [She sighs. Faith. How can she…if Buffy can forgive her, surely Faith can, someday. But will she even want to look at her long enough for Willow to warn her?] I’ll…I’ll see what I can do?[She pauses and grows solemn.] I did this to her. I didn’t ask, and it’s not what she wanted. You should know that. That what I did isn’t something she wanted for herself at all. She would’ve rather had the other way. I-I haven’t really um…talked to her much or done anything with her much, actually. There’s a porch, outside? W-where porches tend to be, I guess, a-and a garden out back. We could go there, i-if it’s a problem…?
Buffy: [Breathes in deeply] I can’t really be mad about the way her soul is in, you guys did what you had to. It’s just the whole secret thing, you really put Dawn in danger with what you did. She knows I know, and I wasn’t exactly nice about it. I just don’t want to fight with her, not tonight. [She sighs. She needs to change the topic and fast.] But that’s not what this is about. I just need to know you’re okay. I’m coming over, it’ll all work itself out. [She smiles but her eyes are still a little teary and you can hear it in her voice] I’ll see you in a jiffy, okay?

phone call @Buffy

Buffy: [is stunned as she takes it all in. But the answer seems to come easily for her.] Look Willow, its not who you are. It’s what you do. And if your magic is all wonky now, it doesn’t matter. [she wants nothing more than to be there with Willow now, so she can see just how much she means what she’s saying] You are so much more than the magic inside of you. Willow… You’re the smartest person I know. And you’re strong. You’re so much better at figuring out life than I am Willow. I believe in you. [She’s nodding her head even though Willow can’t see it]
Willow: [smiles so big and sloppy through her tears, you can hear it in her voice.] Buffy…oh god, Buffy. I…I-I’m not, I’m not ready to leave the house yet but…Buffy, can you come see me? Please? I um…I just..I can’t make it through this by myself. And I wanna be strong, I-I wanna be good like you even though I can’t be. I wanna keep trying. But it’s just…I’m sorry, but please? Please come…?
Buffy: [shakes her head and tears blur her vision] Nobody ever asked you to be like me, Willow. You are an amazing person and you’re you. Are you at home? I can come if you need me to. [she pauses for a moment remembering Faith.] Uh, and. Maybe Faith should… I don’t know. I’m not ready to see her, I don’t know what’d happen if I did. But I want to be there, for you.

phone call @Buffy

Buffy: [purses her lips, thinking of how to answer, how to convey all that she is feeling] You don’t have to make anyone want to be with you. So many people love you and want to be with you, to help you. [She lets out a sharp breath, the tears have finally stopped and her mind is clear] I know what I said before. That I couldn’t be around you. But I was wrong. [She swallows down the lumps in her throat, admitting it makes her feel better. Lighter maybe? She was wrong.] I was weak, Willow. I forgot my truth. The only truth worth listening to. [Buffy runs her free hand through her hair pausing to wet her lips, and continues.] You have to keep fighting, Willow. Keep trying. It’s the best any of us can do.
Willow: [wants to believe her so bad, wants it more than she wants air, and she’s hyperventilating. She tries to gather herself and whispers.] Buffy…Buffy there’s something else. About me. How I…how I am. What, I mean. I-I mean what I am. You can’t…you can’t say that stuff about me when…Buffy, it’s still inside me. All that stuff I put in when I tried to hurt everyone? And I have to use it to keep from going all scary. I /have/ to. And it’s in so deep. I can’t get rid of it. I used to think, I thought maybe, it could be okay anyways? Since that wasn’t all I had inside me? B-but this…what if it doesn’t matter what kind of magicks I’m using? If being inside me just makes it the same anyways. [She sniffles heavily] I’m scared. And I think fighting on your side for me might just be…doing nothing.
Buffy: [is stunned as she takes it all in. But the answer seems to come easily for her.] Look Willow, its not who you are. It’s what you do. And if your magic is all wonky now, it doesn’t matter. [she wants nothing more than to be there with Willow now, so she can see just how much she means what she’s saying] You are so much more than the magic inside of you. Willow… You’re the smartest person I know. And you’re strong. You’re so much better at figuring out life than I am Willow. I believe in you. [She’s nodding her head even though Willow can’t see it]

tuckers-brother replied to your post: tuckers-brother replied to your post:…

[pm] Wonderful! Absolutely, take your time, it wouldn’t be much of a documentary about slayers without you. By the way, things are tough? I know I may not be your first choice but, if you’re really desperate, I make a surprisingly good listener.

[pm] Thank you, Andrew. I’m working my stuff out, but thank you. I’ll let you know about when we can get together for our meeting.

phone call @Buffy

Buffy: [can hear Willow crying. None of this is right.] It was my idea, we did it together. [She’s not going to let Willow blame herself for this. It was a team effort. They both knew what they were doing.] You’re not going to say that. You are good. I know it, I feel it. What we did was right. [Through her tears she realizes something.] I don’t care what someone in another dimension or plane or whatever says. I’m here and you are good. This is where life is happening and we saved the world that day. [She has to stop and breathe because she’s talking so fast. She lets out a short sob, unable to stop crying.] You are good Willow. And even if you aren’t, I don’t care.
Willow: [shakes her head violently.] W-what do I do? Buffy, what do I do? I can’t…how can I live with myself o-or make anyone live with me, or anything? I-I’m…Buffy, I’m so.. [She swallows.] H-help me.
Buffy: [purses her lips, thinking of how to answer, how to convey all that she is feeling] You don’t have to make anyone want to be with you. So many people love you and want to be with you, to help you. [She lets out a sharp breath, the tears have finally stopped and her mind is clear] I know what I said before. That I couldn’t be around you. But I was wrong. [She swallows down the lumps in her throat, admitting it makes her feel better. Lighter maybe? She was wrong.] I was weak, Willow. I forgot my truth. The only truth worth listening to. [Buffy runs her free hand through her hair pausing to wet her lips, and continues.] You have to keep fighting, Willow. Keep trying. It’s the best any of us can do.

phone call @Buffy

Willow: [scrunches her eyes up to keep from crying, but it’s not doing any good.] The spell with the scythe. When I activated the Slayers. [She chokes on the last word. It hurts to know that this was bad and wrong, because she still doesn’t understand how or why that could be possible. But then that just proves how warped she is, if she can’t even see it, right?] I-It hurt the universe. And it’s all my fault.
Buffy: [feels as though she’s just been thrown into a lake in the middle of winter. She takes in a sharp breath] The scythe?[It hits her all at once. This is her fault. She asked Willow to do this. It was her idea.] But that was…[she can hardly get the words out without letting out a whimper or cry] All me. It was all me, Willow. [she covers the reciever with her hand and allows herself to cry, keeping as silent as possible. She took it away Willow’s “goodness”. She can’t help but feel as though she might be sick for the second time that evening.]
Willow: [blanches] N-no. No, Buffy. No, don’t say that. You’re…you’re Buffy. This isn’t…no, I’m the bad thing. I’m the stuff you kill so people will be safe, this isn’t like that. I did it, I’m the only one whose fault is. [She begins to cry again.] I keep hurting everything I care about. Buffy, this isn’t your fault. It’s me.
Buffy: [can hear Willow crying. None of this is right.] It was my idea, we did it together. [She’s not going to let Willow blame herself for this. It was a team effort. They both knew what they were doing.] You’re not going to say that. You are good. I know it, I feel it. What we did was right. [Through her tears she realizes something.] I don’t care what someone in another dimension or plane or whatever says. I’m here and you are good. This is where life is happening and we saved the world that day. [She has to stop and breathe because she’s talking so fast. She lets out a short sob, unable to stop crying.] You are good Willow. And even if you aren’t, I don’t care.