It seemed like it had been ages since Dawn had spent time with her sister. Between her school work, and Buffy’s slaying, there was hardly a time when they could just hang out as most sisters do. And to be perfectly honest, sometimes Dawn was okay with that. She didn’t have much to say to her sister. Mainly because she didn’t want to burden the woman with her little sister ramblings. She supposed that was a huge change from the girl she used to be—always needing to be the center of Buffy’s world, always needing reassurance from Buffy that things were going to be okay. Now she just had to assure herself that she was alright, and force her mind to believe it.
The young woman drove the familiar path to Buffy’s house from her dorm, the music in her car blared up as loud as it would go. Somehow, she thought that the minute she saw Buffy, the girl would know something was off about Dawn. Maybe it would be a sister’s instinct, or maybe it would just be because Dawn radiated otherness after being brought back from the dead, she really wasn’t sure. But she hoped to the goddess, that they would have a normal girl night. Just movies, junk food, painting of nails, catching up. Although a part of her did long to speak to Buffy about what she felt. Especially since finding out that she was on good terms with Faith now. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, whether or not the other slayer had a soul now. Dawn would always have a problem with the idea of Faith. And she certainly had a problem with the Scoobies being alright with her.
Memories of that night flashed in Dawns mind—the pain from the rather dull knife that Faith had used on her. The cracking of her ribs that rang in her ears. The way her breath faded. She’d been alive for a few moments after feeling her heart leave the confines of her chest. Long enough to wish she hadn’t made the decision to meet the slayer. Long enough to wonder if she’d see her mother again and if she’d even get into Heaven at all.
A tear left her eye as she pulled up in front of Buffy’s place. Reluctantly, she reached up and wiped her cheek, staring at her hand like it was a foreign object. She hadn’t done much crying lately. She hadn’t thought herself capable of crying anymore, but she’d just proven herself wrong. Dawn didn’t even really have time to think about it, knowing that she was already at least 20 minutes late for her sister date. Grabbing her purse, stuffed to the brim with nail polish and random snacks from her dorm, she tried to focus her mind on something other than the horrible fear and pain she couldn’t stop reliving. Puppies…cute little monkies…her favorite flowers…sitting in class and watching people fall asleep, consequently drooling on their notes.
Almost mechanically, she reached up and knocked on the door before just grabbing the doorknob and being pleased to find that it was unlocked. “Buffyyyyy?” Dawn called, her blue eyes searching around for her sister. “I’ve come bearing girl night necessities. And my cute little self,” she joked, patting the bag hanging at her side.
Buffy hadn’t seen her kid sister, Dawn, in way too long of a time. But they’d both been busy right? Dawn had wanted to get back to school within a week of returning from the dead. Dawn had returned from the dead. She’d returned from the dead and buried her head in school work, Buffy knew why. She hadn’t really talked to her about it, but she knew Dawn had come back somehow wrong. Had she been to heaven? Buffy had tried to push that thought out of her mind long ago. She’d managed not to think about it for quite some time actually. She was pretty certain that not seeing Dawn so often was what had allowed her to be able to be on okay terms with Faith and Willow. Without the evidence of what they’d done in her face, it was easy to get over. But she couldn’t keep pretending her sister didn’t exist so that she could be okay with her friends. It wasn’t right, and she missed Dawn. She missed her a lot.
Despite her intense excitement about seeing her sister, Buffy was nervous. Would they be able to be normal with the past hanging unspoken between them? They could try, couldn’t they? Out of anticipation Buffy had cleaned the entire house the day Dawn was supposed to come over, and when that didn’t take up enough time she went out and rented some movies (she’d called Willow to do a glamour on her beforehand) and bought all the girls night stuff she could think of: junk food, face masks, nail polish, Cosmopolitain magazine (like she’d actually talk to Dawn about sex… Hell, she didn’t even know if her sister was a virgin or not), and she even splurged on a board game called Apples to Apples. She and Dawn would have normal sister bonding at any expense.
But then Dawn was late. Five minutes late, ten minutes late, and then fifteen minutes rolled around and Buffy couldn’t sit still anymore. She walked through her apartment making sure everything was in it’s place. Upon entering Dawn’s old room she felt a touch of nostalgia. Dawn hadn’t really been there very long before she went off to school, before she went and got killed, but somehow it felt entirely like her space. There weren’t really any photos or nick-knacks from their past, they’d lost all of that in Sunnydale. But Dawn had come in and decorated it to her likings, she’d chosen all of the colors and bedding. Sometimes, when she felt lonely, Buffy’d go in and lay on Dawn’s bed. It was comforting, her sister was home to her. She sat down in the chair next to the book shelf full of the books Dawn decided she could live without at college. She found herself absorbed in reading the titles, they were all books she’d never heard of, books she’d never be smart enough to read. Words couldn’t express how proud she was of her sister, she was doing so well in school. She was so well adjusted and so smart. She didn’t hide her feelings or put up a front the way Buffy did.
Buffy didn’t notice when Dawn came in through the unlocked front door, Buffy left it that way expecting Dawn to just waltz in and find her there waiting. She was startled when she heard her sister’s voice from the other room, she jumped up at the sound and sped to the front room. There she was, her little sister. She rushed to her, taking the things she carried in her arms and placing them on the floor next them and giving her a tight bear hug. It was compulsory. Buffy could see the sadness in her sister’s eyes, the sadness behind her small and her cute remarks. She saw it and she wanted it to go away, she wanted to just hug it out of her. To make her better somehow. “Dawnie, I missed you so much.” Buffy said into her sister’s long brown hair. She pulled away from the hug and smiled at her, trying with all she had not to cry. She knew what she was feeling and she could see it in her eyes. It took a lot to be okay after dying. “It’s gonna be okay, Dawn.” She said as she rubbed her little sister’s back, dropping her hand down to grab hold of her sister’s small hand. “Come on, I’ve got girly stuff too. We’re going to bond goddammit!” She pulled her sister into the living room where the television was ready with the DVD player open and waiting for Dawn’s selection.
This Is A Test 