Oh, of course Buffy was happy to see her. So everything had been real? At least the part where Faith had killed her, it was the only explanation. She couldn’t stop her body from flinching and tensing as Buffy hugged her. It felt too close. Too constraining. Almost as if she couldn’t breathe. But she couldn’t ask Buffy to get away. Her sister had thought Dawn was dead. This behavior wasn’t surprising. It brought back memories. Memories from when Buffy had been the one back from the dead because Willow had decided to mess with the forces of nature… Willow.
The new set of memories of what she liked to call ‘the worst months in my life’ were still working through the details. Willow had been weird. Andrew had tried to warn her.. Was this some new form of Wiccan spell? Some new super powerful thing that Willow couldn’t control? It hadn’t been that long ago since she had gone dark. Was she really out of her mind and doing things in that scale just so what? So her girlfriend wouldn’t have to live with that weight in her conscious? Because it wouldn’t work. Dawn would make sure not to let Faith forget what had happened. But Willow had an history of going overboard for people she was in a relationship with. If this was just something like that again… No. Dawn had been through enough with Willow’s use of magic! This was enough!
Buffy didn’t let go. Why didn’t she let go? There wasn’t that hole in her chest but it was as if her body wasn’t used to being back. Not used to feeling. Not used to touching. She swallowed before talking. She wasn’t sure what to say. Her sister was just so happy and unconcerned about the consequences… “I know you won’t.” But that wasn’t Buffy’s call anymore, was it? No. It had been in a long time since Buffy had been the one to make that call. There was just too much out of Buffy’s reach by now.
Finally Dawn made herself take a step back. Getting carefully out of Buffy’s embrace so that her sister wouldn’t resent her, because that was the last thing she needed right now. “Buffy…” she said softly “I’m serious. Is this really supposed to…? Last I remember you were dead or I was dead… What happened?” Because she needed to know exactly what had went on. She was tired and confused and everything around her felt weird but she needed to understand what had went on so that she’d know what the right response to being back was. If she should be happy to be back or if she should wish she was back to being dead.
As her sister broke tactfully from the slayer sized hug Buffy’d imposed upon her, it suddenly occurred to her that she could say she would protect her sister all she wanted but the truth was that she couldn’t. Not anymore. The fact that Dawn had died in the first place was proof of this fact, and obviously Buffy wasn’t responsible for the current restoration of Dawn’s life. Maybe that explained why she’d tried so hard to hold onto the very tired looking girl’s body, if she was in her arms there was no way anybody else could get to her…
The look in her eyes and the softness of her voice told Buffy that something wasn’t right with Dawn. No there was a sort of confused sadness that clouded the girl. Suddenly a thought came to her mind, but she pushed it away.No, she couldn’t have been there… It’s not like that this time. Buffy wouldn’t let that type of thinking get to her. This was a happy time, her sister was alive. She hadn’t ever died. Buffy didn’t know who did this, but she needed to be happy about it.
“What happened?"
Buffy didn’t know how to begin to answer Dawn’s question. According to Cameron, everything they’d experienced in that dreamy world had been real. Buffy had so many questions herself. She tried to form an answer for her sister who looked at her as if to say her whole demeanor depended upon Buffy’s answer to that one question. What had happened? Buffy wasn’t certain but she pulled the corners of her mouth up into a smile and hoped it reached her eyes. "Well, neither of us are dead. Are we?” she forced a laugh and moved out of the doorway so that Dawn could come inside. She couldn’t look her little sister in the eyes, she didn’t want her to read the uncertainty behind them so she turned away casually walking to the couch. She settled herself down on the soft cushions and continued on, Dawn would need more explanation that was certain.
“I don’t know if you had this too, but that dreamy feeling? Not a dream. It was all real. There was some sort of magical time travel, which isn’t really all that shocking…” She was at a loss for words but she forced herself to say more. She couldn’t let it seem like things weren’t okay. “Anyways, I haven’t heard from anyone but Cameron yet. But whatever happened, we’ll find out, the world is saved now,” Buffy was floundering. “And you’re alive!” Buffy said with hopefully convincing peppiness.
This Is A Test 