There was a stone. She could feel herself on top some stone as she woke up. Her eyes slowly getting used to the little light that was around. It was as if she’d been asleep for a long long time. Only she wasn’t, was she? No… At least she didn’t think so. But why was everything to hard to bring back then? Okay… Glory’s tower. She remembered that. Had Dawn jumped? No… That wasn’t how that particular story had ended all those years ago. Only it didn’t feel like it had been all those years ago, it felt fresh on her memory. From Glory, to Spike, to Buffy.
But it was still out of place. This stone, it wasn’t something…. She stopped herself. Her mind was finally processing other memories, the Faith memories, figuring out how it had all went. Dawn had come trying to stop her and Faith… Faith… So much blood. Oh god, so much blood! She made herself fall to ground. Trying to stop her body from shaking. Trying to stop her stomach from contorting itself. Focusing her eyes on the grass as she tried to breathe. She could do I, right? Breathe. She could. It was easy, it was breathing. She was still breathing and not dea.. Her heart! Her hands frantically went to her chest, trying to find the hole Faith had craved out of her. No. There was no hole there. There was a shirt she didn’t remember having. There was… normalcy.
As she got up, her eyes noticed the candles from what seemed like days ago. Half melted and all destroyed. No. She had to leave this place. She couldn’t stay. She didn’t need the rest of the memories from that. Everything but that. All the memories were just too confusing in her head. Faith killing her. The Doc cutting her. They melded together into a hard to figure out timeline. She let her feet guide her back. Back to the places she knew. Back to Buffy, wasn’t it? Buffy was something of a safe heaven. She’d know what to do. She’d know what to say. And even if she didn’t… Dawn was just feeling too empty, even if her insides were all in. She needed someone. She needed her sister.
It took longer than it should have. The memories were still not clear in her head. The streets of Cleveland confusing themselves with the ones in Sunnydale leading to some wrong turns. But the confused young woman had finally reached her sister’s place. Their apartment. Buffy would know what to do, right? Please. Buffy had to know what to do. Her seemingly little hand hit the door gently, waiting for someone from the other side to open it as she hugged herself. Still half shaking, physically holding herself together as best she could. When the door opened she just had a small, tired but genuine smile for her sister. Oh so happy to see someone she knew, someone she loved “Hey. I just… I feel like I’m just missing this huge chunk of time and maybe I died” she frowned for a split second “but then you died and… Ideas on the what?”
Buffy pulled her legs up under her and curled up into the cushiony arm chair that sat in the living room of her and Dawn’s apartment. She’d woken up crying and found herself moving almost automatically to this chair, it had been Dawn’s favorite. The dream from which she awoke had been so vivid and so real, she’d held Dawn’s hand at told her that she needed to live. For her, and then she jumped. And now that she was awake, the cold hard truth had set in. Dawn was gone, she wasn’t living and especially not for her.
Buffy wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting in that chair, she’d wanted to cry but the emptiness that she’d felt the moment she’d seen her sister’s mangled corpse no longer inspired tears. There was nothing left inside of her, not after all she’d been through. She’d just relived some of the most painful months of her life, and now she found herself back in a place that was as equally painful. She hardly noticed when the phone sitting on the table vibrated, informing her she had a text message. It was Cameron… telling her it was all real. She couldn’t take any of this anymore. She ought to have been able to, she’d felt the weight of the world on her shoulders so many times before and yet this time it was all too much.
The feeble knock on the door almost went unnoticed. But it didn’t. Buffy forced herself to get out of the chair and walked to the front door. She didn’t know what she was expecting, possibly Cameron come to check on her. Her whole “being okay” act was probably about half as convincing as she’d tried to make it and Cameron likely saw right through it. Buffy put on her contented face and braced herself to face whatever concerned or angry or just plain curious person that waited on the other side of her front door. She was utterly unprepared for what she saw when she answered the door.
Dawn. In the flesh, maybe. Buffy wasn’t sure if she was a ghost or just a figment of her imagination. She was talking about something, but Buffy found herself unable to hear her words. She had absolutely no idea how to react and she couldn’t even begin to process what she was feeling. Dawn was there and she was so full of life it seemed like light was seeping from ends of her hair. Energy radiated from her in a way that could only be described as glorious and Buffy found herself moving closer and closer to her against her her will. Not that she didn’t want to envelope her younger sister in the biggest hug the planet had ever seen. Buffy wrapped her Dawn in her arms and swore to herself she’d never let go. Even though Dawn was taller than she was, somehow wrapped in Buffy’s arms she seemed small- protectably small.
“Dawn, I’m never going to let that happen to you…” Buffy squeezed the words through her cracking voice as tears of joy filled her eyes.
This Is A Test 